I wanted to write a long post clarifying the things I already had. But then I realised it was pointless and exhausting.
Only the guilty feel guilt.
My conscience is clean.
I have better things to do with my time.
I have never stole or withheld money that isn’t mine. In regards to any of the nonsense about, I haven’t done anything wrong (like I have already said).
If I had, why haven’t the police been involved? Why has this been handled it a childish ‘he said/she said’ manner? I have had to call the CID, friends and family myself. I was going to let the whole thing completely slide.
I was told “Stop thinking about what you want everyone to think. Fuck what everyone thinks. As long as your parents are happy and Allah is, no one needs to be relevant.” But harassment, threats, abuse and slander is unacceptable. The dumbest scream the loudest. If it continues I will file for criminal charges, I might even do it anyway. I need more time to think.
In regards to the issue itself I am sure you can appreciate that when it comes to family, things are different. A lot goes on behind closed doors. You all don’t know us personally, you see what we want you to see, but everything online is a mask. You haven’t seen me crying, begging for money or hoping for sympathy. In fact, you have seen no interviews from me. No attempt from me to rush to tell the world in detail of my terrifying experience. I use blogs because I felt I owed the general public a part of me, to thank them for their help, support and generosity. I will do an interview one day, but for now my focus is elsewhere, getting better. All I do is respond to well-wishers, try to feel and look good and do something positive in the world. I will not apologise for not breaking or crumbling and letting the attacker win. I am allowed to smile, move on, be distracted and be open.
I looked through old messages and realised screenshots would humiliate certain people and reveal the true colours and motives of them. And although humiliate is exactly what has been tried to be done to me, I respect the family, their kids, our reputation and our sanity to not waste my time. Individuals that initially contacted me received the full story, and I was soon sent apologies.
Like I have said, I have done nothing wrong. If you google it, you’ll see it in black and white. Resham Khan is me and just me. Daniel Mann is an old friend. Fake accounts did pop up and they were reported and deleted. I have so many screenshots, so many people witness the events of the last few weeks. But my life isn’t your day time entertainment. I appreciate the love, care and support, at times I feel like I can achieve anything. But keep it positive. I’m not here to fight off the Internet.
No one is alone. No one has been abandoned. No one is skint, 20k is a lot of money. I haven’t gone into hiding or disappeared, I’m at home, continuing life as best I can. I can’t bring myself to be mad. I’m just tired. It just feels like such unnecessary drama. I have come to understand that some people just want someone to blame. Not everyone handles such traumatic life changing events the same way I do. Recovery and adjustment takes time. If I need to be someone else’s punching bag to get them through such a tough time, then so be it. I hope that in the future we can all look back and recognise it was probably due to emotional pain. I needed to focus my attention on something and I did, a campaign. Others focus their attention on other things. I guess it’s just the process of coming to terms. I feel bad of course, but I have to look after myself. I can’t care for everyone as much as I’d love to. As someone that has endured threats, manipulation and lies in an attempt to get more money, I’m sure you can understand why I wanted to free myself from it all.
I don’t want to talk about how much of a toll this, and everything else is taking on me. I’m trying to keep my mind clear and focus on the right things. I’m not looking to have a breakdown. But have acid thrown over you and experience what I have and you may be able to relate. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with anyone that has 50p put in them. I have bigger problems! I suck it up and tackle each one. Stop trying to get in my way.
Gather facts. Get evidence. Speak the truth. Or shut up.
Money will always be tainted.
But my conscience isn’t.
See below for the conversation I had with the journalist in question that proceeded to write lies about me after I told her it was untrue. She was so hungry for a story she had asked my friends to message me and ask me to speak to her. Where is the respect for boundaries? When I called and emailed the media outlet I was basically offered an interview to rectify the nonsense they had put out about me. No apology from the journalist, just an interview offer. Unbelievable really.
Thanks for reading.
P.s. I deleted so much of this. Now is not the time to spill. But definitely time to set the record straight.
Apologies for any typos. I’ve not been able to sleep because of this bs