JME – Don’t @ me

I wanted to write a long post clarifying the things I already had. But then I realised it was pointless and exhausting.

Only the guilty feel guilt.

My conscience is clean.

I have better things to do with my time.

I have never stole or withheld money that isn’t mine. In regards to any of the nonsense about, I haven’t done anything wrong (like I have already said).

If I had, why haven’t the police been involved? Why has this been handled it a childish ‘he said/she said’ manner? I have had to call the CID, friends and family myself. I was going to let the whole thing completely slide.

I was told “Stop thinking about what you want everyone to think. Fuck what everyone thinks. As long as your parents are happy and Allah is, no one needs to be relevant.” But harassment, threats, abuse and slander is unacceptable. The dumbest scream the loudest. If it continues I will file for criminal charges, I might even do it anyway. I need more time to think.

In regards to the issue itself I am sure you can appreciate that when it comes to family, things are different. A lot goes on behind closed doors. You all don’t know us personally, you see what we want you to see, but everything online is a mask. You haven’t seen me crying, begging for money or hoping for sympathy. In fact, you have seen no interviews from me. No attempt from me to rush to tell the world in detail of my terrifying experience. I use blogs because I felt I owed the general public a part of me, to thank them for their help, support and generosity. I will do an interview one day, but for now my focus is elsewhere, getting better. All I do is respond to well-wishers, try to feel and look good and do something positive in the world. I will not apologise for not breaking or crumbling and letting the attacker win. I am allowed to smile, move on, be distracted and be open.

I looked through old messages and realised screenshots would humiliate certain people and reveal the true colours and motives of them. And although humiliate is exactly what has been tried to be done to me, I respect the family, their kids, our reputation and our sanity to not waste my time. Individuals that initially contacted me received the full story, and I was soon sent apologies.

Like I have said, I have done nothing wrong. If you google it, you’ll see it in black and white. Resham Khan is me and just me. Daniel Mann is an old friend. Fake accounts did pop up and they were reported and deleted. I have so many screenshots, so many people witness the events of the last few weeks. But my life isn’t your day time entertainment. I appreciate the love, care and support, at times I feel like I can achieve anything. But keep it positive. I’m not here to fight off the Internet.

No one is alone. No one has been abandoned. No one is skint, 20k is a lot of money. I haven’t gone into hiding or disappeared, I’m at home, continuing life as best I can. I can’t bring myself to be mad. I’m just tired. It just feels like such unnecessary drama. I have come to understand that some people just want someone to blame. Not everyone handles such traumatic life changing events the same way I do. Recovery and adjustment takes time. If I need to be someone else’s punching bag to get them through such a tough time, then so be it. I hope that in the future we can all look back and recognise it was probably due to emotional pain. I needed to focus my attention on something and I did, a campaign. Others focus their attention on other things. I guess it’s just the process of coming to terms. I feel bad of course, but I have to look after myself. I can’t care for everyone as much as I’d love to. As someone that has endured threats, manipulation and lies in an attempt to get more money, I’m sure you can understand why I wanted to free myself from it all.

I don’t want to talk about how much of a toll this, and everything else is taking on me. I’m trying to keep my mind clear and focus on the right things. I’m not looking to have a breakdown. But have acid thrown over you and experience what I have and you may be able to relate. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with anyone that has 50p put in them. I have bigger problems! I suck it up and tackle each one. Stop trying to get in my way.

Gather facts. Get evidence. Speak the truth. Or shut up.

Money will always be tainted.

But my conscience isn’t.

See below for the conversation I had with the journalist in question that proceeded to write lies about me after I told her it was untrue. She was so hungry for a story she had asked my friends to message me and ask me to speak to her. Where is the respect for boundaries? When I called and emailed the media outlet I was basically offered an interview to rectify the nonsense they had put out about me. No apology from the journalist, just an interview offer. Unbelievable really.

Thanks for reading.

P.s. I deleted so much of this. Now is not the time to spill. But definitely time to set the record straight.

Apologies for any typos. I’ve not been able to sleep because of this bs

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5 Comments

  1. I understand being put through an acid attack is probably one of th worst things a female can possibly go through, but this makes this so much more questionable . There is no smoke without fire and there would have been an understanding or expectation to split the money, however to be fair to you it is extremely awkward to outright discuss money and I imagine the understanding for splitting the money at the beginning may have been very vague and was more of a expectation of your good will. Personally I would of split the money but you did what you did which was nothing, because I doubt money was on top of your agenda when your face has just melted and your wanting to save yourself from perm damage.

    I think people are just disappointed because you didn’t show goodwill by doing what was expected which was split the money, but maybe it wasn’t as simple as that. Congrats on your recovery though it’s amazing to see you do a 360 from a crazy situation. šŸ™‚

    1. Hi there! I understand but my cousin has his own fundraiser. I’m expected to split mine and he still has his? No one is my family is disappointed in me or thinks I have done anything wrong. So I must be doing something right haha. Thank you though

  2. So let me get this straight – inbetween screaming in pain at the acid burns, being in different cubicles and Jameel being put in to an induced coma- you found time to have a chat about some money you might be lucky enough to get through donations off Joe Public?

    And erm, how was Jameel able to talk whilst he was in this induced coma?

    Alright, I know I’m being simplistic – and maybe even a tad sracastic to the possiblility of an agreement – but seriously – the way the situation has been handled has turned Jameel into a laughing stock and a grubby money grabber.

    The old rule ALWAYS applies- what happens in the family, STAYS in the family – except when it goes to court when the press can start digging for dirt!
    So long as your parents are happy with your actions thus far – and you are content with your actions thus far- who are we to judge?

    Malterser?

    1. I honestly couldn’t have put it any better. No, there weren’t discussions on money. I was transferred from London to a Manchester hospital too! You really have just seen through the situation. Thank you!

  3. I’m a bit late to the game here but have been following your recovery on here and on twitter.

    It’s quite amazing when it comes to the topic of money things get so distorted quickly, and the focus on the important things are lost.

    None of us are in the position to judge what goes on behind closed doors and certainly shouldn’t be relying on ‘facts’ from reporters without morals. Granted media coverage can be great for providing a platform for this issue, however to try and dig for perceived dirt in this way and pressure you and your friends is abhorrent.

    Well done you on focusing on you getting better and quite frankly being brave enough to post this all on social media. I am sure that must have been a huge step for you in your recovery.

    All the best for you in the future and I am quite certain you are helping many people in their own recoveries, as well as highlighting the legal issues to everyone.

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